Post by Rhett Miller on Jan 16, 2017 1:40:10 GMT -5
October 11 - Early Morning
Rhett woke up early in the morning. As comfortable as he was curled up with Vera, he could never catch more than a few hours of sleep anymore. It was less when he decided on the music room, butconsidering what was going on behind those closed doors he tried to not intrude too much there. Plus, he didn't think Izabella knew that he knew so...
Not to mention, sleeping in Vera's bed helped keep up that image for the both of them. He'd noticed that there had definitely been a decline in unwanted attention towards her since they started 'dating'. Sure, guys still watched her, but no one was really messing with her. He was glad he could at least help her with that. And she was his ear to listen.
In the weeks that had followed the beginning of their 'relationship', the Veela girl learned more about him than she probably realised he had been locking up. A lot of it came out in whispered moments between them in bed, something others probably thought were lover's promises. Instead of that innocent talk though, he was telling her about his brothers. About the church his dad ran and how he had drowned as a kid. She learned about his map of broken bones and stitches and how his sister was his knight in shining armor. How terrified he was of the realisation that he was gay was whispered only to her, his stark terror of being sent to one of those conversion camps. Even in his talk with Kingston and all that they held between them, he could barely bring himself to tell the other boy that.
Vera listened to it all and never judged him for anything. She held him close when he cried and tried to keep him distracted when he found out about Kameron and Leopold. He was falling apart at the seams. Even while he purposely kept away from seeing the happy couple, his heart was shattered. She kept telling him to pull Kameron aside and tell him how he felt, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Every time he had tried before Leopold he had ended up putting his foot in his mouth. He hadn't seemed to be able to make the words work. Now that he was with someone else, mustering the courage to tell him just seemed pointless.
So instead he spiraled. He pulled away. A smile became harder for him to make, and laughter was even farther between. He was breaking and he was terrified of what might happen when he hit the point he knew was coming. He could feel it, taste it even. It was like the feeling in the air before a hurricane hit, that moment of quiet when everything seems calm on the surface, but underneath it isn't.
Rhett wanted Kameron so bad it physically hurt him. But he was terrified of going from being bisexual to actually admitting that girls didn't do a damn thing for him. And in his struggle to accept himself he was pushing away the only person he loved. The one person he was working so hard for...and that person had found someone else. Rejection stung.
And now Rhett couldn't figure out if he should continue bothering to admit he was gay or to go back to how he had been. The only problem though was that he was too depressed.
So he would get out of her bed and wander before slipping into his own dorm room to change. Since he wasn't sleeping a whole lot, he was generally awake before most of the school. It was nice actually, the quiet before the castle came alive.
This morning though, on his way through the main corridors, he stopped immediately, face paling and eyes going wide.
All along the walls were posters. He had no idea who hung them or when. His stomach dropped when he noticed that they all involved Joram....who also had yet to come out. Instantly, the Equuleus boy went to the closest poster and tried to take it down.
It wouldn't budge.
Growling softly he tried again, but it was still to no avail. Stepping back, he had no idea what to do. No spell came to mind to fix this. Rubbing his temple as he tried to figure out how to protect his friend, his eyes traveled over the line of posters and he felt his body freeze. For a moment he forgot to breathe. If his face had been pale before, now it was ghost white.
One of the posters was Joram and him making out.
The implications went through his head faster than he could keep up with as he tried to take it down. he already knew it wasn't going to work, but his only thought was that Kam couldn't see it. Why that was the forefront of his mind, he didn't really know. kameron had a boyfriend. Why did it matter if he saw it?
He could barely hold on to anything anymore.
Tears stung in his eyes as he continued to try to take the poster down. The only thing he got from trying was his fingers becoming bloody. Panic was welling up in his chest. People were going to see this. They were going to think him and Joram were doing things.
He couldn't handle it.
Finally, his legs started working. At least, they had to of because before he knew it, he was walking into the Equuleus common room.
Why am I here?
Oh. That's right. Clothes. Clothes and drugs. Maybe a bandaid. The cuts on his fingers still stung. Taking a deep breath, he shakily made his way through the common room and up the stairs.
You're okay. you're okay, it's okay. Those are obviously fake. you know this because you've never done anything with Jor. Everyone else will know. They'll know....they'll know. God..fuck...
The panic took over again. If it wasn't for that, he might have noticed the soft noises he was hearing. He might have realised the wrong turn he had taken. But he was so caught up in trying desperately to keep the pieces of himself together, he didn't have a clue.
Rhett woke up early in the morning. As comfortable as he was curled up with Vera, he could never catch more than a few hours of sleep anymore. It was less when he decided on the music room, butconsidering what was going on behind those closed doors he tried to not intrude too much there. Plus, he didn't think Izabella knew that he knew so...
Not to mention, sleeping in Vera's bed helped keep up that image for the both of them. He'd noticed that there had definitely been a decline in unwanted attention towards her since they started 'dating'. Sure, guys still watched her, but no one was really messing with her. He was glad he could at least help her with that. And she was his ear to listen.
In the weeks that had followed the beginning of their 'relationship', the Veela girl learned more about him than she probably realised he had been locking up. A lot of it came out in whispered moments between them in bed, something others probably thought were lover's promises. Instead of that innocent talk though, he was telling her about his brothers. About the church his dad ran and how he had drowned as a kid. She learned about his map of broken bones and stitches and how his sister was his knight in shining armor. How terrified he was of the realisation that he was gay was whispered only to her, his stark terror of being sent to one of those conversion camps. Even in his talk with Kingston and all that they held between them, he could barely bring himself to tell the other boy that.
Vera listened to it all and never judged him for anything. She held him close when he cried and tried to keep him distracted when he found out about Kameron and Leopold. He was falling apart at the seams. Even while he purposely kept away from seeing the happy couple, his heart was shattered. She kept telling him to pull Kameron aside and tell him how he felt, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Every time he had tried before Leopold he had ended up putting his foot in his mouth. He hadn't seemed to be able to make the words work. Now that he was with someone else, mustering the courage to tell him just seemed pointless.
So instead he spiraled. He pulled away. A smile became harder for him to make, and laughter was even farther between. He was breaking and he was terrified of what might happen when he hit the point he knew was coming. He could feel it, taste it even. It was like the feeling in the air before a hurricane hit, that moment of quiet when everything seems calm on the surface, but underneath it isn't.
Rhett wanted Kameron so bad it physically hurt him. But he was terrified of going from being bisexual to actually admitting that girls didn't do a damn thing for him. And in his struggle to accept himself he was pushing away the only person he loved. The one person he was working so hard for...and that person had found someone else. Rejection stung.
And now Rhett couldn't figure out if he should continue bothering to admit he was gay or to go back to how he had been. The only problem though was that he was too depressed.
So he would get out of her bed and wander before slipping into his own dorm room to change. Since he wasn't sleeping a whole lot, he was generally awake before most of the school. It was nice actually, the quiet before the castle came alive.
This morning though, on his way through the main corridors, he stopped immediately, face paling and eyes going wide.
All along the walls were posters. He had no idea who hung them or when. His stomach dropped when he noticed that they all involved Joram....who also had yet to come out. Instantly, the Equuleus boy went to the closest poster and tried to take it down.
It wouldn't budge.
Growling softly he tried again, but it was still to no avail. Stepping back, he had no idea what to do. No spell came to mind to fix this. Rubbing his temple as he tried to figure out how to protect his friend, his eyes traveled over the line of posters and he felt his body freeze. For a moment he forgot to breathe. If his face had been pale before, now it was ghost white.
One of the posters was Joram and him making out.
The implications went through his head faster than he could keep up with as he tried to take it down. he already knew it wasn't going to work, but his only thought was that Kam couldn't see it. Why that was the forefront of his mind, he didn't really know. kameron had a boyfriend. Why did it matter if he saw it?
He could barely hold on to anything anymore.
Tears stung in his eyes as he continued to try to take the poster down. The only thing he got from trying was his fingers becoming bloody. Panic was welling up in his chest. People were going to see this. They were going to think him and Joram were doing things.
He couldn't handle it.
Finally, his legs started working. At least, they had to of because before he knew it, he was walking into the Equuleus common room.
Why am I here?
Oh. That's right. Clothes. Clothes and drugs. Maybe a bandaid. The cuts on his fingers still stung. Taking a deep breath, he shakily made his way through the common room and up the stairs.
You're okay. you're okay, it's okay. Those are obviously fake. you know this because you've never done anything with Jor. Everyone else will know. They'll know....they'll know. God..fuck...
The panic took over again. If it wasn't for that, he might have noticed the soft noises he was hearing. He might have realised the wrong turn he had taken. But he was so caught up in trying desperately to keep the pieces of himself together, he didn't have a clue.
